what does infertility feel like

“I know EXACTLY how you feel”

For starters, let me say I know you don’t know EXACTLY  how I feel. Or another favorite is “so why are you so upset?” Well, for starters, you asking me that has made it to the top of my list right now.

After I shared my story a few weeks ago, I got the most loving, sweetest messages I could have never imagined. I received so much support and love, that my heart was overflowing and my faith in humanity and been restored. I was trembling as I hit that publish button, terrified the world was now judging me, because I was now 1 of 1 in 8 people who deal with infertility.

On the other hand, I had so many people say “Oh, I can definitely relate.” or “I 100% understand and know just how you feel.” The honest to God truth it, you don’t. Those statements are the WORST thing you can say to someone, when you really have no idea just what they’re going through.

 

So let me just give you a small glimpse into the world of infertility and try to describe just how it feels to me:

Infertility feels like a punch in the stomach from the biggest bully on the playground. That doesn’t apologize either.

Infertility is blood draws multiple times a week, that even drinking a gallon of water a day cant help your poor little veins.

Infertility is being an emotional mess, any time of day, any day of the week, for no real purpose.

Infertility is making multiple trips to the fertility specialist’s office in one week.

Infertility is calling to find our your progesterone level, only to realize you once again didn’t ovulate this month and it’ll be another month before trying again.

Infertility is draining your bank account because health insurance for infertility treatment SUCKS.

Infertility is seeing a cute bundle of joy at Applebee’s and running back out the door so you don’t start crying.

Infertility is being pissed off at your own body.

Infertility is hiding out at home, away from everyone.

Plain and simple, infertility is a bitch who doesn’t play fair.

 

 

One comment

  1. Sally Ives says:

    I DO know how you feel! You just described how I felt! I know you are hurting and you are pissed and you feel incomplete.

    But, I also want YOU TO KNOW, how much I love you and that I, too, am hurting, because it is so hard for a parent to watch their child suffering, and there is nothing I can do to make it better!

    God’s Plan and God’s Speed . . .

    Love, Mom

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